Polyamory and Lopsided Love

Sometimes when we embark on new romantic ventures, we have a tendency to think that we’ve already thought of everything — we spend countless hours conjuring up a million different scenarios in our minds in an attempt to stamp out any unintended issues which may arise and turn our newly-found paradise into another bittersweet romance.

Of course we can never have the foresight to see everything that could possibly happen, what, with the incalculable variables and possibilities when it comes to dealing with actual, living, breathing human beings, and all, but try we do nonetheless.

This story is about one important thing that tends to happen when preexisting couples decide to try their hand at a polyamorous lifestyle, something very few who haven’t been there actually consider, and something that can cause difficulties in otherwise happily-established and harmonious threesomes or moresomes.

If you’re new to polyamory, thinking about becoming the third member of an existing couple, or a couple thinking of inviting an additional member or more into your dynamic, this is for you…

When I took up the most recent relationship that I found myself in now, which has turned out to be one of the most influential experiences of my life, things progressed quite rapidly, and soon we all found ourselves pursuing something that wasn’t exactly thought-out. Consent was granted along the way, each step of the way, for every notch that we took things up, and take them up a notch often we did, which led to what seems in retrospect to be quite a confusing settling-down period (to be fair, which settling down period isn’t confusing?).

We were all on high with the excitement of new love and changing dynamics, but one thing that I couldn’t quite put my finger on for the longest time was the differences in levels of trust and communication.

When a preexisting couple invites an additional party into their lives, their most intimate parts of themselves and what they share, every single party involved is bound to have some natural skepticism and hesitations and we slowly trudge towards a more secure, trusting situation. There is a natural and unspoken tendency for the longer-established relationship to solidify its bonds in bringing a new party into the mix, and this is not only…

Related posts:

Since past few days I have avoided writing, maybe I wrote but didn’t publish but I read and edited my old poems. I tried to lose myself in colours, it has to be art — either words or colours so I…

Point-of-sale payments can now range from large units to handheld devices to a static proximity Spring. Customers tap the Spring with their smartphone to a maximum distance of 7 to 10cm. Depending on…