Background Check

I recently began a new role at work. During the transitional period, I told about sixty people, ranging from family members and close friends to loose acquaintances that I was supposed to submit a wide range of names for background interviews, and while it was unlikely, they may get an email from a third-party background investigator with some questions about me, and that I’d appreciate them replying to expedite my transition.

I was lying to them.

Then, I made a Wordpress website. This cost $12/month. Though I don’t know web design, I only needed it for the domain name, NaromResearch. Narom, of course, is my last name backwards. Once that was complete, I created the email address “Info@NaromResearch”, and sent an email to the people I’d originally contacted. It read:

Hello,

If you are receiving this email, you have been put down as a contact by Peter Moran for reference. Please reply to the below questions as best you can and respond. Thank you.

1. What was the nature of your relationship with Peter?

2. Do you consider Peter to be someone you would trust in matters of extreme importance?

3. Has Peter ever been involved in illegal activities to the best of your knowledge?

4. If Peter were put in a position of responsibility, what would your greatest concern(s) be?

5. Can you provide an example of a time Peter demonstrated good judgment in a high-pressure situation?

6. Has anything Peter has ever done caused you to doubt his sanity?

—

Below are my favorite answers to each question.

1. Nothing, really. We follow each other on social media and have a lot of mutual friends, but we attended the same high school at different times. It’s really strange to me that I was included in this reference email, and probably weirder that I’m bothering to respond. But we never met.

2. He had to babysit for me once because our normal babysitter wasn’t around and he always told me that he had nieces and nephews and that kids loved him. Anyways, my wife and I ended our night out early to come back and see the kids. Nothing bad happened, but I guess I didn’t trust him that much since we came home early.

3. Not like real ones, but obviously some. Jay-walking, littering, etc. I don’t think he’s like a drug dealer or doing money…

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