Dear Future Husband

I hope we have an unconventional marriage.
It should start with the wedding. In a typical Nigerian wedding, a wedding is actually done according to the taste of the bride and groom’s parents, not necessarily for the bride and groom. I pray this doesn’t happen at ours, I hope we are able to put our foot down on what we want on our day. And by God’s grace, I hope we’re buoyant enough to handle our wedding expenses ourselves. Any money aside ours, would be that of volunteers, not people sponsoring our wedding and wanting to have say on what goes and what doesn’t.

When we’re finally married, we both know marriage isn’t all roses. I hope we’re able to take space from ourselves when the going gets tough, like I once wrote “Space from whatever or whoever that has caused a certain level of pain or unrest, can give one clarity of mind”. We should heed to that. There should be nothing wrong with spending a year not under the same roof, just to figure things out. We’ll just co-parent and have sex occasionally. I know questions like “Are we allowed to see other people during this break?” would come up. But whatever you do out there, know I’m still the mother of your kids, and we’re technically still married. So apply wisdom (have sense).

Baby, I hope you never tell me to quit my job as an engineer or a writer, to take care of the kids. This pandemic has shown me that anything that involves me staying in the house 24/7 is likely to turn me into a psychopath. Talk more of adding toddler care to the package, nope not for me.

We should also be able to see divorce as an option. Yes, I said it. If you ever wake up one day and realize I no longer make you happy, you have every right to serve me divorce papers. We’ll figure out the co-parenting part together. The same thing applies to me, if I ever come to a conclusion that there’s no longer love in our relationship, I have the right to do the same.
Happiness should be a priority in our marriage.

Also, wherever you may be right now, I hope you’re not making bad decisions as a young adult ’cause I’m not.

I love you in advance.

Signed
Peace.

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